Meditation Doesn't Work...

I hear it a lot - "I tried meditation, but it didn't work."

Usually true - and not the end of the story.

Maybe you say that to yourself, or maybe you hear it from your clients. Either way, that statement almost always points to a disconnect between what meditation actually is and does, and what you (or your client) expects meditation is and does.

Like any disconnect between reality and expectations, it can leave you (and/or your clients) feeling frustrated and disappointed with meditation. No on wants that.

Here is how that disconnect tends to play out... and how to reframe it for a more aligned experience.

"I can't clear my mind"

The trap here is thinking that meditation involves actively elminating or suppressing or otherwise doing away with thoughts in order to create a perfectly blank, Zen-smooth lake.

Because that is not what meditation is, or is for, or does.

Meditation simply reveals just how busy the mind already is. There is no goal to stop thoughts. The goal, to the extent that there is one, is to bring awareness, kindness and patience to the thoughts as they already are. That's it.

So simple. So incredibly challenging. So worth it.

The magic is, that in simply bringing a kind, patient awareness to the mind and body, both quite naturally begin to settle down. There is no trying. Just like there is no TRYING to make the snow in a snow globe settle.

There's just watching and allowing. 

“If it works, I should feel calm right away” 

The trap here is in thinking that meditation is a relaxation technique that should bring more or less immediate relief. But that is not what meditation is or does. Meditation simply reveals how you already feel. Sometimes you feel calm. There is no goal to feel calm, peaceful or happy. To the extent that there is a goal it is to bring awareness, kindness and patience to how you already feel - whether that is restless, irritated, sad or anything else! So simple; so incredibly challenging. The magic is, that in simply bringing a kind, patient awareness to the mind and body, both quite naturally begin to settle down. When you stop trying to change your state, and instead pivot your relationship to how you feel, something shifts.Calm is a natural outcome, not a demand. Bottom line .... 

Meditation is not a state-change tool (“make me calm, focused, peaceful”). It is a skill-building practice that helps you to relate differently to your mind, body and life.  

Maybe you don't have to work harder or smarter, but kinder and more gently? That's what we learn to do in MBSR for Coaches and Clinicians. 

In gratitude,Colette